Thursday, November 13, 2003 8:10 AM

HOG Report®

Oink, oink, snort... here comes the HOG Report®.  Hard hitting... pleasssssse don't take anything personally... OK?

HOG of the week - week 10 was a crazy week.  Not because I got my butt kicked by C4 96-78... didn't I say last week the C4 Explosives are dynamite?  Crazy because everyone seemed to score 90 or 100 points.  These sticks of dynamite were beaten by three other teams... Blackcats, with a non-contested lineup, crossed the Bear Necessities path with 99 points... those darn Fockers scored 106 in a rout over P-Cubed... and the high score of the week went to the Southsiders who mustered up 119 points over the Widowmakers who mustard'd (is that a word?) 94 points.  Oh yeah, Widow been whining all week... "If I would have played Moe Williams..." Sorry, it wouldn't have mattered... Southsiders still win 119-118.  Using that "if I would have played" logic, Southsiders could have played Jeff Blake and won 126-118.  Heck, if I would have picked up Rudi Johnson last week I would have beaten C4 110-96.  If would ofs and could ofs were candy and nuts we'd all have a merry Christmas. What?  Whatever... the Southsider is the HOG of the week.  Watch out for these siders from the south... they traded for Terrell Owens and have the hot, hot, hot aforementioned Rudi Johnson.   But wait... maybe there's collusion... Terrell Owens for Willis McGahee and Koren Robinson... hmmmm.  If not collusion maybe an illegal player (McGahee) involved?  Hmmmmm.... oh c'mon...  GET OVER IT!

TOP HOG by division - C Division's (22-18-0) TOP HOG is (still?) the Bear Necessities at 7-3.  But fallllllllllllllling...... sneaking up behind him are the Blackcats and those darn Fockers.  Those unlucky - cross your path - Blackcats hold a head-to-head advantage over the Bears.  And those darn Fockers...  ever since they picked up Trent Green... in a slightly controversial trade with, egad, the C4 Explosives... they have been on a tear.  Let's see they got Trent Green for Andre Johnson???  Hmmmmm... collusion?  Andre Johnson seems to be the hot potato - and trouble maker - in all of this.  Once traded to C4, he gets Marcel SHIPPed to D-Teasers for Steven Davis.  Hmmmmm..... if Focker would have just held onto him to begin with none of this madness would have ever started in the first place.  New rule next year... NO MORE TRADES!  Widow will like that... he likes adding rules and stuff.  Gosh, I hate all this collusion stuff.  AND I HOPE I HAVEN'T HURT ANYBODIES FEELINGS....  whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings.  Then there's the TA&T's Division (21-19-0) TOP HOG is (still?) the Rough Riders.  But not for long... please see HOG of the week segment.  The Pony Riders just keep hanging on...  let see if they can withstand the McGahee/Owens onslaught.   Finally.. the Doomsday's Division (16-22-2) TOP HOG is C4 Explosives.  Like I said last week, they're dynamite... controversial, but dynamite.  We won't go there... oh darn I already did.  Isn't funny how if we air our grips in the HOG Report® it looks real silly?  Maybe this email is just real silly.  No hard feelings, right?  Widow?  Butch?  Will?  Matt's?  DT?  Roosie? ... WIDOW?   WIDOW??  I worry about that Widow guy... he could go postal!

Wildcard HOG - the Pigskins are (still?) the Wildcard HOG.  Oh how I wish the season was over... don't look now but those darn Fockers are coming up fast... making their move.  I sure hope they win the C Division... but wait... my favorite nemesis is next in line...  Which brings us to my favorite segment of the report... Where's Widow?

 

Record

Points

 

Breakdn

 

Power

C4 Explosives

7-2-1

856

Pigskins

75-33-2

C4 Explosives

35.0

Bear Necessities

7-3-0

777

C4 Explosives

73-35-2

Pigskins

28.0

Rough Riders

7-3-0

776

Puck Fackers

65-45-0

Puck Fackers

27.0

Puck Fackers

6-4-0

800

Widowmakers

64-46-0

Rough Riders

25.5

Blackcats

6-4-0

752

Rough Riders

58-51-1

Widowmakers

25.0

Southsiders

6-4-0

732

Buffalo Soldiers

55-53-2

Bear Necessities

24.5

Pigskins

5-4-1

844

Bear Necessities

54-54-2

Blackcats

19.0

Widowmakers

5-5-0

849

Blackcats

53-55-2

Southsiders

17.0

Buffalo Soldiers

3-7-0

705

Southsiders

48-62-0

Buffalo Soldiers

14.5

P-Cubed

3-7-0

678

P-Cubed

40-68-2

P-Cubed

9.5

D-Teasers

2-8-0

666

D-Teasers

39-69-2

D-Teasers

5.5

Flea Flickers

2-8-0

628

Flea Flickers

27-80-3

Flea Flickers

3.5

HOG Market Report - a quick look at what we've got left in our Piggy Banks and what available on Free Agency and Waivers. Remember, transaction forms are due by 6pm Thursday night. 

Piggy Bank

FAAB

FREE AGENTS

Waivers

Blackcats

$20

QB

WR

Jeremy Stevens

Rough Riders

$9

Drew Brees

Dante Hall

Pittsburgh

Bear Necessities

$8

Jay Fiedler

Javon Walker

Trung Canidate

Widowmakers

$7

Rich Gannon

Deion Branch

Cincinnati

Pigskins

$6

Kelly Holcomb

Travis Taylor

Green Bay

P-Cubed

$5

 

Eddie Kennison

Billy Cundiff

C4 Explosives

$4

RB

 

Freddie Jones

Flea Flickers

$3

Shawn Bryson

TE DST

Seattle

Buffalo Soldiers

$1

Lamont Jordan

Itula Mili

David Akers

Southsiders

$1

Stacey Mack

Anthony Becht

New York Jets

D-Teasers

$0

Deshaun Foster

49ers

Erron Kinney

Puck Fackers

$0

Ladell Betts

Saints

M Tuiasosopo

Remember, this is just one swine's opignion...  don't forget to play Henning's Survivor Football http://www.afsn.net/survivor/ .

 

 

 

 

Friday, November 14, 2003 8:01 AM
 

A thorough investigation has been completed in the information integrity of week 10's HOG Report®.  What we know...
 
1. Iltula Mili was claimed the previous week by D-Teasers... good keeper for next year?
 
2. Pony Riders do not need to worry about a McGahee/Owens onslaught... McGahee was involved in the trade for Terrell Owens.  Rather it the Rudi Johnson/Terrell Owens onslaught.  How's Pony Riders 7-3?
 
3. Marcel was Shipp'd to D-Teasers... and is a keeper!
   
Marcel Shipp has 510 rushing yards this season.  (Getty Images)  
Marcel Shipp has 510 rushing yards this season. (Getty Images)
 
 
 

Marcel Shipp, RB, Arizona: Jim Nantz of CBS Sports said on The NFL Today that Shipp would be a first-round pick if owners drafted a team right now. Don't believe it? Project Shipp's numbers in his four starts over 16 games, and he would compile 1,720 rushing and 460 receiving yards.  http://ifwt.football.sportsline.com/news/6826642

 

4. Butch is still pissed off... 

Butch is concerned
about C4/DT trade.
 
 
 

 

 

5. Anf finally... Mike DID NOT staple SFFL transaction form to his forehead.

Mike Hennings protects shirt and ears
from everyday job hazaards.