Wednesday, December 17, 2003

HOG Report® ~ Playoff Edition Part Vier

HOG OF THE WEEK - The Widowmakers snuck right past the Pigskins on Monday Night Football to capture the high score and the Hog of the Week honor.  Widow received exceptional performances from everybody... but his tight end.  No one ever said Michael had a tight end... Brady (17 pts), Tomlinson (33 pts), Williams (16 pts), Johnson (15 pts), Jackson (15 pts), Vanderjagt (9 pts) and Cowboys (21 pts).  How can you beat that?  Congrats to the Widow on a great week!

PIGDICTIONS - You should know by now that being listed here as a favorite is the kiss of death...  the Boss Hog's record stands at 2-6 after the first round of the playoffs...  some bodies got to do it, so the Hog Report® gladly assumes the responsibility...  my pigdictions for round two were... PUCK FACKERS, C4 EXPLOSIVES, WIDOWMAKERS, P-CUBED, D-TEASERS, BUFFALO SOLDIERS...  let's go to the scoreboard and see how round two is shaping up...

PIGSKINS 123

ROUGH RIDERS 69

PUCK FACKERS 111 

P-CUBED 61

 

 

SOUTHSIDERS 86 

BLACKCATS 90

C4 EXPLOSIVES 65 

D-TEASERS 75

 

 

WIDOWMAKERS 127  

BUFFALO SOLDIERS 59

BEAR NECESSITIES 87

FLEA FLICKERS 42


Halfway through round two... if things don't change, I'll be 2-6 again!  But does that surprise anyone?  Things could change, right?  Let's go to the final pigdictions of the season...

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME:  #3 PUCK FACKERS vs. #4 PIGSKINS
The big question here is will Clinton Portis, the heart and soul of the Pigskins, play on Sunday?  Without Portis it will be a rough going... the 12 point lead will help, but will not replace this workhorse.  This past weekend the Pigskins received outstanding contributions from Joe Horn (39 pts) and Clinton Portis (26 points).  The Puck Fackers continue to receive excellent production from Trent Green (28 pts) and Priest Holmes (31 pts) week in and week out.  They also received some unexpected relief from Brian Westbrook (22 pts) on MNF.  Look for this championship contest to come down to the wire on next week's Monday Night Football as the Pigskin's Ahman Green and the Puck Facker's Ryan Longwell battle it out against the Oakland Raiders.  My pigdiction remains... Puck Fackers... as Will says, "puck the figskins!"

CONSOLATION GAME: #1 C4 EXPLOSIVES vs. #2 SOUTHSIDERS
Who would've thought the Southsiders would grab a 21 point lead without a QB?  Woe to the Supreme Ruler.  The C4 Explosives need to rally and better have one of their best weekends of the season in order to capture third!  The Southsiders are sitting pretty and have received good news... Air McNair is expected tom play Sunday.  Barring a complete collapse, it appears that the Southsiders will finish in 3rd place.  Last weeks heroes were the Southsiders Curtis Martin (22 pts) and Terrell Owens (20 pts).  Can you imagine if Rudi Johnson (32 pts) wasn't benched?  Or if Brian had a QB?  Never the less... my pigdiction remains... C4, in an incredible comeback!!!  

#6 BEAR NECESSITIES vs. #7 WIDOWMAKERS
Incredible performances by the Bear Necessities' Brett Favre (27 pts) and Marvin Harrison (21 pts)... it ain't over till it's over!  Widowmaker's Ladainian Tomlinson (33 pts) and the defense/special teams of the Cowboys (21 pts) highlighted last week's performers... unfortunately for Butch... look for more of the same.  Widowmakers take a 40 point lead into next Sunday's match up and will absolutely crush the Bears... my pigdiction remains... Widowmakers!

#5 ROUGH RIDERS vs. #9 P-CUBED
Rough Riders get off to a surprising 8 point lead against P-Cubed...  Brad is accepting unkind comments in order to bolster his Yiddish troops.  Rough Riders got a nice effort from Tony Gonzalez (21 pts), but unfortunately had Aaron Brooks (32 pts) on the bench.  P-Cubed benched Kevin Barlow (23 pts) for the second week in a row, but only trail by 8.  I think P-Cubed rebounds... sorry Roosevelt for the second week in a row... my pigdiction remains... P-Cubed!  In Brad I Trust (IBIT).

#8 BLACKCATS vs. #10 D-TEASERS
Boden plays the hot hand (Garcia) this week and is rewarded with a 15 point lead.  Blackcats' Jeff Garcia (34 pts) performed exceptionally well for a second week in a row... while Dave banged up his car during a snowstorm over the weekend. The damage?  $750 to the power steering mechanism!   DT received an incredible performance from Peyton Manning (31 pts), but didn't get much effort from the rest of his team.  I got to believe that DT will come back and force the Blackcats out of their litter box... my pigdiction remains... D-Teasers!

#11 BUFFALO SOLDIERS vs. FLEA FLICKERS
The Buffs take a 17 point lead... while neither team received any stand out performances.  Michael Vick laid a goose egg, while Donald Driver (17 pts) was benched for his recent dismal performances. The Buffs combo of Bulger (17 pts) and Holt (18 pts) performed well, but didn't get any other support.  Look for Bulger and Holt to continue their above average scoring, and the rest of the Buffs to chip in to end their season with a bang... they're soldiers right?  Look for the Buffalo Soldiers to increase their lead against the "wait till next year" Flea Flickers... my pigdiction remains... Buffalo Soldiers!

And now it's time for... Where's Widow?

 

 

 

And, in case you missed it...

Horn dials some digits after scoring against the Giants.

Joe ``Blow My Own'' Horn took touchdown celebrations to the cellular level, proving once again that talent is no measure of taste.

Horn's tacky little stunt of hiding a cell phone in the goal post padding to call home after the second of his four TD catches in New Orleans' rout of the New York Giants on Sunday undoubtedly will cost him a fine from the NFL.

Not that he cares.

His ego and his bank account are bigger than any fine.

``It might cost me $10,000 or $15,000, but it was worth it,'' Horn said.

Sure it was worth it. Horn bought more publicity -- good or bad, he doesn't much care -- in those few seconds with his nationally televised call than most players get all season. Maybe he'll even get a cell phone endorsement out of it.

``This game is all about excitement,'' Horn said. ``I thought I'd probably get fined for it. I think it's ridiculous, but we should give the fans what they want, what they pay their hard-earned money for, and that's excitement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only one more Hog Report®... next week is the final edition.