Hog
Report®
Oink, oink, snort…
here comes the Hog
Report®.
Hog of the Week
–
Puck Fackers and Buffalo Soldiers are both worthy of this highly esteemed
award. The Fackers continue to plow
through the league and are this week’s high scorer with 103 points! The surprising Buffalo Soldiers win
convincingly over the highly touted Rough Riders. Not to mention the Buffalo Soldiers,
with the right lineup, could have piled on an extra 32 points! The Buffs would have been the high
scorer with 118 points! The
publication bestows the Hog of the Week
honor to both Will
and Matt.
Congrats!
The Hog
Report®
presents its exclusive ‘post
game analysis’… this year, to
expand upon our reputation of providing totally useless information, we take a
look at what could have been. Have
you ever said, “Geez, if I had just started Quentin Griffin last night!” Or, “Oh my gosh, I had Curtis Martin on
the bench!” Or, “I can’t believe I
didn’t play Dominic Davis!” We’ve
all said similar things like this before.
Well, this section will take a look at the winner and losers, and what
could’ve been. This column will
present something totally meaningless and stupid… what the results could have
been if we had started the right guys.
Or what we’d like to call “Points in the Pen”.
Buffs 86 Riders
48
In perhaps the biggest upset (I
think) and the biggest margin of victory(tie)… the Buffalo Soldiers stomp over
the Rough Riders by 38 points! What
happened here? Look for Spencer to
be inserting Quentin Griffin next week... that’s for sure. Quentin had 157 all purpose yards and 3
TDs for 33 fantasy points! Look out
SFFL… the Buffalo Soldiers are marching to the top of the league. The Rough Riders had a disappointing
afternoon from Mason, Coles and Gonzalez… a grand total of only 95 yards
receiving… not to mention only 29 rushing yards from RB Charlie Garner. There were Points in the Pen… holy guacamole, the Buffs still win! The optimal score would be…
Buffs 118 Riders
59
Bears 89 Explosives
75
Those Bear Necessities… the simple
Bear Necessities…. defeat C4 by 14 points.
Ouch! Augie must be kicking
himself… not only for spending $16 for Lamar Gordon, ala DT last year for
Olandis Gary, but for benching Dominic Davis and the Redskins defense. Dominic sat with 157 all purpose yards
and 2 TDs for 23 fantasy points!
Butch’s Bears are starting out this year like they started out last year…
hot! But, remember the Bear factor
(Jones, Edinger, Thomas, Bears Defense)…. hey Butch, Gage and Terrell are still
available! Don’t you just ‘Lovie’
that? Both teams left some Points in the Pen.
With bench points, the optimal score shows a different
outcome…
Explosives 107 Bears
98
Fackers 103 Teasers
65
Morning headlines could have read,
“Fackers tip Teasers”… instead they read, “Fackers rip Teasers!” SFFL returning champion Puck Fackers
picked up where they left off last year.
McNabb and Holmes were fantasy monsters Sunday helping the Fackers to a
38 point win! On a positive note,
the D-Teasers WRs and TE outscored the Fackers. Bad news for Puck Fackers, Charles
Rogers is out for the year with a broken collarbone. Good news for DT, Alge Crumpler was the
highest scoring TE of the week!
Alge or Algae… whatever… had 82 yards receiving and a TD for 14 fantasy
points! Neither team left Points in the Pen, the optimal score is the final
score…
Fackers 103 Teasers
65
Cubed 64 Fleas
50
P-Cubed holds on for a 14 point
victory over the Flea Flickers. But
what could have been… who would
have thought the ‘Bus’ be driven for 3 TDs? He probably got more fantasy on Sunday
then he had all last year! The
Fleas could have won this matchup with Garcia and Bettis in their lineup. Right, who’s gonna bench Michael Vick
and Stephen Davis? Oh well, there’s
always next week. Schumann’s
P-Cubed reported no injuries…. yet!
There were some Points in the Pen… Fleas win, Fleas win! The outcome could’ve
been…
Fleas 75 Cubed
67
Widows 89 Siders
70
Widowmakers make a statement with
a 19 point victory over the preseason conference favorite Southsiders. Maybe this is the year the Widowmakers
climb out of the mid-tier of the SFFL and into the upper echelon? Tough outcome for the Southsiders, lots
of talent on this team. McNair and
Tomlinson both had bad days. That
not the fat lady singing Brian… it’s Mike.
You’ll be fine! Both teams
left Points in the Pen…
of note, Widowmakers’ RB C-Mart
had 203 all purpose yards and 2 TDs for a total of 32 fantasy
points! With bench points, the
optimal score is…
Widows 105 Siders
82
Pigs 83 Cats
71
In our final game analysis, The
Pigskins come from behind and beat the Blackcats by 12 points on Monday
night. It was a costly win for the
Pigskins though, as they lose their top receiver Steve Smith to a broken
leg. Blackcats also lose a player,
top RB Shaun Alexander, but only for a week or so. Boden may be wishing he had started a
different RB this past weekend,
Duckett rushed for only 7 yards.
However, he was not to be outdone by the Pigskins’ Boo Williams who
registered a negative point for 13 yards and a fumble lost. Both teams left Points in the Pen.
Blackcats may go against J’ville loyalty next week and start Jake
Delhomme. Jake had 284 yards
passing and 2 TDs for 15 fantasy points.
Mark Brunnell logged 125 yards and a fumble lost. The final score could’ve
been…
Cats 98 Pigs
92