Hog Report®

Oink, oink, snort… here comes the Hog Report®.

Hog of the Week – Geez, the fourth consecutive week where 3 teams scored over one hundred points!  I wish I could get some of that.  The Puck Fackers (102), the Widowmakers (102), and, the most improved team in the league of late, the Flea Flickers (105 points).  The Flea Flippers flicked their way past division leader D-Teasers 105-79.  The Fleas were floppers earlier in the year primarily due to Vick’s inability to flick in the west coast offense.  The Fleas soon became flippers for unintentionally saluting their team’s Sunday performances and this rag’s reports.  The Fleas are best described now as flappers flying high overhead waiting to pounce down and attack their enemy.  Things are starting to flick, and the Flea Flickers are a very dangerous team right now.  Whatever you call these guys… Flappers, Flippers, Floppers, or Flickers...  let’s honor (salute) them as the Hog of the Week.  Congratulations Brian!

HOTW Past winners…

Week 1 – Puck Fackers, Buffalo Soldiers

Week 2 – P-Cubed, Rough Riders

Week 3 – Bear Necessities

Week 4 – D-Teasers

Week 5 – C4 Explosives, Rough Riders

Week 6 – C4 Explosives

Week 7 – D-Teasers

Week 8 – Widowmakers

Week 9 – Pigskins

Week 10 – Buffalo Soldiers

Week 11 – Flea Flickers

In other games:

C4 unExplosives were 7 points better than the hapless Pigskins winning 57-50…  The dreaded Widowmakers clobbered the early hibernating Bear Necessities 102-52.  Butch’s stat line looks a little more like Paul and Augie’s…   Puck Fackers scored their usual 100 points, while paying no attention to lineup setting or free agent pickups, to storm past the Southsiders 102-83.  Rubin Droughns had a huge day against the worst defense in the NFL…  The Blackcats notched another victory sneaking past the Rough Riders 74-72.  It took nearly all of the 46 yards receiving by David Patten for that to happen…  P-Cubed may have ruined the Buffalo Soldiers’ dreams for the division title by slipping past the Buffs 84-82.  The Patriots Defense let Matt down this week, while Trent Green went off for Brad.

Points in the Pen: 

Aided by highly sophisticated gadgetry (calculators) and state-of-the-art statistical notation (paper and pencil), this publication has compiled mind-numbing estimatics that backwardly projects optimal scores based on optimal lineups.

Optimal Wins – games you would have won with the optimal lineup in…

Week 1 – Blackcats, Flea Flickers, C4 Explosives

Week 2 – Roughriders, Pigskins(TIE)

Week 3 – Southsiders

Week 4 – None

Week 5 – P-Cubed

Week 6 – P-Cubed, Flea Flickers, Buffalo Soldiers(TIE)

Week 7 – None

Week 8 – None

Week 9 – P-Cubed

Week 10 – P-Cubed

Week 11 – Roughriders, Pigskins, Buffalo Soldiers

Division Roundup:

Doomsday - The Flea Flickers are doing their part to keep things close in the division, but the Pigskins and C4 Explosives don’t seem able to help keep the pressure on.  With three games left it appears the D-Teasers should wrap up the division’s title.  DT appears to be the number 3 seed.  C4 Explosives have an outside chance for the wildcard, while the Pigskins and Flea Flickers will round out the bottom two brackets.  Seemingly the only scenario would be for DT to lose three straight and either the Pigs or C4 would have to win three straight.  In case of a tie, DT currently holds all tie breakers. 

C Division – Puck Fackers seemed to have wrapped things up this past weekend, and probably the number 2 seed.  The Bear Necessities seem to have a lock on second place in the division and possibly an invite to the 2^nd tiered playoff bracket.  P-Cubed and Blackcats are displaying a late season surge and may make things interesting.

Three Athletes and a Thinker - The Evil Empire will probably finish first in the division and the number 1 seed.  It would take a virtual collapse for Hennings to lose their grasp on the division crown now.  The Buffalo Soldiers are looking more like the wildcard holding a slim 4-game breakdown margin on fellow division foe Rough Riders.  Roosevelt still has a chance at the 4 seed, but must be careful to not fall too far in points or the win column.  The Rough Riders could very easily end up in the 3^rd tiered bracket if they fall short on both.  The Southsiders are playing for next year and have been since the trade of all trades!

And finally, a look at the wildcard standings...

Where’s Widow?

In 1^st stupid!